FAQ – A Trolls Tale


Congratulations, you’ve landed on the Frequently Asked Questions page. I’m sure it was by accident, as I don’t typically have what you’d call “good information”, or “factual relevance”. I have a unique way of looking at the world. Some would even call it odd.

Now with that being said, I’m confident that you will be able to glean some unique knowledge from our ever-growing database of questions. I’m very proud of the variety showcased within this FAQ section. It has allowed me to expand my horizons as well.

As you can see below, I’ve sorted out each FAQ into six five separate but equally important sections. They are organized according to my logic, which means absolutely nothing.

So sit back and enjoy the mind-numbing dump of my never-ending drivel. It’s all true, I promise.

Video Game Questions

Who is the hardest boss in Dark Souls 1?

I thoroughly enjoyed this game and to this day it is still my favorite game out of the Dark Souls series. I really enjoyed the Artorias of the Abyss expansion as well, but I’m going to stick to the base game and the bosses included in it for this question.

There were many cool and memorable bosses in that game. But if I had to pick a boss that I feel is the hardest, I would probably have to say Smough and Ornstein.
I’m sure many others could agree with me on this. They are aggressive and they hit hard.

The best part of the fight is when Smough stuns you with his insanely huge hammer and then Ornstein does a flying stab that comes out of nowhere and melts your face.

Who is the coolest boss in Dark Souls 1?

I know you think I’m going to say Quelaag, for two very good reasons, but nope. She’s my second favorite.

The coolest boss in Dark Souls 1, in my opinion, has to go to Sir Artorias the Abysswalker. Everything about that boss is just downright cool.

Who is the hardest boss in Dark Souls 2?

It doesn’t matter. I hardly remember anything about that game.
Some people would say the Fume Knight though. I don’t know. I never fought him.

Let me ask my son.

Who is the hardest boss in Dark Souls 3?

Most people would say Nameless King. But I say that’s garbage. Vordt of the Boreal Valley was by and large the hardest fight for me.

If you manage to whittle him down to half health, he starts rampaging around the room like a freight train, spewing frost puke everywhere and then you get frostbite and die.

Or he smashes you with his hammer and then you get frostbite and die.

That’s how that fight goes down.

But then again, my level ~120 simple Claymore wielding Sorcerer got deleted before I got a chance to fight the Nameless King.

Why Mortal Kombat?

Because dude. It had the best graphics and obviously the most violence for its time. Toasty!

Is Minecraft a good game?

Yeah kinda.

“Who is the best Killer Instinct character?

I don’t know if I can tell you who the best character is, simply because I don’t really think there is one. They are all good in their own way. So I’ll just say I like Thunder, Jago, Kan Ra, and Eyedol. In no particular order of course.

My son plays a mean Fulgore, Shadow Jago, and an occasional Spinal though. So I’d have to say Spinal is up there on the list.

Has Andrew ever beat Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out for the original NES?


I also beat Mr. Dream on the new NES but it seemed harder.

I think I heard something about latency issues that newer TVs have.

Or as Butthead would put it, “Or something like that.”

Dude, what’s up with Valheim? How come you can’t beat it?


I just…I can’t…I don’t…I don’t know why…

It’s hard for me. Trees fall on me regardless of which way the wind blows.

Some say it’s easy. Maybe I’m just stupid and don’t know it, but everyone else does…

Reaper/Music Questions

Who is the best drummer?

That’s a tough question. There are many very talented drummers, not including myself.

But if I had to name a few I would say Danny Carey, Phil Collins, Mike Portnoy, the late Neil Peart, and obviously Animal from The Muppets.

Gee whizz Andrew, you’re pretty bad at playing the guitar for how long you’ve been playing?

Is that a question, er…?

Sorry, I’m not trying to be “pretty bad”.

I’m just, I can’t seem to get good.

Thanks for making me feel terrible though.

Why are musicians with long hair so much better than bald musicians?


You take that back right now!

What kind of question even is that?

Just cause we can’t swing our beautiful flowing hair around in circles doesn’t mean we’re not good musicians.

On top of that, I’ll have you know that balding men make the best lovers!

What size drumsticks do you prefer playing with Andrew?

Oh, probably black ones. Their stickier.

Andrew, what is your favorite drum or cymbal on a drum set?

You straight up know it’s the cowbell!

We all need more of it.

Okay, I might like the double bass more…

Cryptid/Paranormal/Alien Questions

How tall is Bigfoot?

Well, since they aren’t necessarily completely physical beings, it’s hard to say.

Most eyewitnesses estimate them to be between 6 – 8 feet tall. Although there are accounts of much larger specimens.

Obviously, young or adolescent Bigfoots will be shorter.

Does Dogman exist?

That is a good question. Prepare yourself for a mini novel of information.

I absolutely believe they exist and they are the hated enemies of the Sasquatch.

However, I’m not sure of the backstory of this mutual disdain towards one another.

The dogmen appear to be evil and seem to harbor a particular hatred towards humans. People who have been unlucky enough to encounter one of these creatures say they can see the anger and seething hatred in their red eyes

Most of the stories of the Dogman seem to come from the Midwest region of the United States. In fact, the Dogman is often times referred to as the Michigan Dogman as a result of a purported sighting in Wexford County Michigan in the late 1800s.

Here’s a song that was written about the incident: The Legend of Dogman Song

The idea of a Dogman running out there wild in the woods is somewhat alarming and shouldn’t be taken lightly. However, I do feel that their population isn’t as numerous as that of the Sasquatches.

Again, that’s simply my own gut feeling.
I also get the impression that they have paranormal abilities similar to the Sasquatch and are capable of interdimensional travel among other things. In my opinion, these Dogmen are not a natural creation and are a hybrid entity created by what some people might refer to as fallen angels.

Are Sock Gnomes Real

Are we talking about the little people living in your drawers that steal just one sock from each pair?

Because if that’s the case, I’d have to say there’s no other explanation.

Food Questions

What is the best pizza?

Combo pizza, hands down.

How many egg sandwiches has Andrew eaten in his life?


Pizza Hut, Domino’s, or Little Caesars?

Papa Murphy’s.

What’s up with eggs, tatoes, sausage?

Eggs, tatoes, sausage is without a doubt the most important breakfast of my childhood. It’s the meal that made me into the breakfast loving manly man I am today.

Breakfast food can and should be eaten at any meal.

In other words, it is perfectly acceptable to consume bacon and scrambled eggs for dinner.

This isn’t up for debate. Fight me.

What is the best breakfast cereal?

Okay, I really don’t eat a lot of breakfast cereal now days, but I did when I was growing up.

I would have to say, the current options include Cocoa Pepples, OH’s, and Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

But let me tell you something buddy, back in the day, there was nothing better than Rice Krispie Treats cereal!

I ate so much of that stuff. Like so much. I just couldn’t get enough.

So why did they discontinue it? I have no idea, but it was a bad move. >:(

Pancakes or waffles?

That’s an easy one. Waffles, hands down.

Specifically the Belgian kind. Do you know how much stuff you can pack into those glorious squares?

Maple syrup
Whipped cream
Chocolate fudge
Peanut butter
Oreo cookies
Gummy bears
Bubble gum
Marinera sauce
Enchilada sauce

…and yeah, I think that’s it.

Coke or Pepsi?

Nathan says Mountain Dew.

He’s wrong though, everyone knows its Alaskan Amber.

Science & Astronomy Questions

How many planets are in our Solar System?

I don’t know, you tell me.

I thought there were nine, but I guess I was wrong.

Why is Earth the only planet with life?

Nathan says, “I don’t know, Ask Neil deGrasse Tyson.”

Wow. Rude.

Miscellaneous Questions

How many things are there?

Google it. Seriously. Google knows.

Piggly Wiggly or Hogly Wogly?

…uhm, Piggly Wiggly?

The Princess Bride or Robin Hood: Men in Tights?

I’m not sure there is a possible answer to this. Both are on the top of my list of favorite movies. I could literally watch them every single day.

Both of them have so many great scenes.

The sword fight on top of the Cliffs of Insanity in The Princess Bride?

The Sheriff of Rottingham’s inability to form a coherent sentence in Robin Hood: Men in tights?

Brilliant stuff. Just my type of humor.

So in conclusion, my answer is both. Next question.

Why the tin foil hat?

Oh I think you know…

[begins playing the X-Files theme on the guitar]



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Andrew has been a life long lover of music. Although starting his musical journey on the guitar, (we won't talk about his skills on that particular instrument) he found his true passion was for drumming and making music to share with others. He also enjoys writing blog posts about off the wall subjects that are very much real—such as Bigfoot, UFOs, and what's up with European mayonnaise. Why is it sweet???
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